


Farewell, Devious Jokester

by GuardianDreamer



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15004556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianDreamer/pseuds/GuardianDreamer
Summary: A fanfic exploring the differences and similarities between a jokester whose sharp words made him hard to understand and a detective who wanted to understand him regardless. First-person, contains late-game spoilers for V3.





	Farewell, Devious Jokester

Your ghost has always haunted me. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I'm haunting you? I'm the one who can't let go. I'm the one who felt left behind. I don't know what to do. I wish I had all the answers. It's... It's ridiculous, but I can't help but feel like you probably had all the answers. Though you'd probably claim otherwise. You were always the type to keep others on their toes.

It's just hard to accept.

It's hard to accept anything.

It's hard to accept that I won't see you again.

Your devious laugh, your ability to lie no matter what the circumstances are, your dishonesty, the sharp edge to your words... I'm not exactly painting a very nice-sounding picture, am I? But I miss all of that. I want you back. I... I want to hear that laugh. I want to see those awful expressions. I want to have the chance to feel your touch again, even if it's just a casual handshake, or... Anything. Even just talking with you again would really... I don't know.

Knowing you made me realize that there was something missing in me. I didn't even realize it until then. But you filled it up, and now... I don't know. I feel like I can still see you. You'd make a very good prankster ghost, now that I think about it. It suits you. I keep thinking that I see you, but the others... The others point out that I'm pointing at nothing. And then I realize that you're not there. Am I just trying to convince myself otherwise? For a short while I thought you were only showing yourself to me, but I guess that's an incredibly selfish thought. I'm an incredibly selfish person in many ways. I guess it suits me.

Is it weird for me to say that I want to make a promise to you when you're already gone? I don't know if I believe in any kind of afterlife. Then again, I did just say that I could have sworn I saw your ghost. That's slightly hypocritical of me. Not really fitting considering my job... But I was never really suited for it anyway. But... The promise. Yes. It's something that I want to do, and even if I'm the only one who can hold myself accountable for it... I still feel like you'll make sure that I keep my word somehow. You'll find a way, even beyond death. That'd be just like you. And maybe I'm secretly hoping for that. I don't know.

I promise that I'll survive. ... That's not exactly much of a promise in most circumstances, but... I don't know. Everything's felt too bleak recently. I need to remind myself that it isn't always like this and that life is worth living. And if it isn't, then I've got to change that and make my life one worth experiencing. You... You added a lot to it, you know? It's a bit embarrassing to say that to you directly, but I really wish I had. I really wish I had the courage to say... A lot of things. Maybe it wasn't the right time or place. Or maybe that's just another excuse on my end. I just... Wanted to know you a bit better. Laugh with you a bit more. Be able to discern between your truths and lies just a bit more. Get you to be more honest with me.

... Is this love? Let's call it that. What type of love? ... That's not important. It's the type of love that's unique from me to you. And... Maybe from you to me too. I mean... If you weren't lying about that too. I don't think you were. I know you weren't. I feel like I knew you well enough to tell that much at least. ... Arguing with myself isn't exactly something I enjoy doing, but I've been doing a lot. Go figure.

Ghosts... Probably aren't real. Then again, I could hardly believe someone like you was real either. So maybe they really are out there. I don't know. Whether you're a ghost, a spirit, or if you can't even hear me at all... Thank you. For everything. For being my... Friend? I feel like I can call you that at least. Maybe you'd disagree, but I really think our relationship at least deserves that label. It'd be interesting if it was something more though. ... Were you just teasing me, or were you serious? I guess I won't find out now.

It's... Really ridiculous. I'm smiling even though I shouldn't. Someone might think that I'm glad you're gone... I should really be crying instead. But trust me... I really wish you were still right next to me. So I could do everything that I missed doing before. So that I could support you. Ah... Sorry. I guess I should let go of the past. Really, I'm sorry. I've never been very good at this kind of stuff. Experience hasn't exactly helped me either.

... Goodbye. I... Um. Thanks for everything. I mean it. You're a harsh jokester who I couldn't begin to understand... But you were kind in your own way. That's not a descriptor you'd accept easily, but... I insist you take it.

I'm glad that you were in my life. And I'm glad that I was in yours.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic was originally written for a prompt, and with that knowledge in mind, I wrote it while not mentioning any names so that it could be read independently. That said, anyone who's experienced V3 will probably be able to figure out what this fic is actually about. I wrote this when I only had fan translations to rely on, so my Shuichi voice is likely all over the place since I had to rely on so many different interpretations of what he sounds like. I hope that this was enjoyable regardless of those difficulties. Despite the tags attached to this fic, I do hope that this brings a smile to someone's face as well. Moving on is also important, after all.


End file.
